Why the Haefs don’t “Do” Santa… (It’s Not What You Think)
by Jonathan Haefs
Appalled.
That’s the word I would use to describe the general reaction of people when they find out that my family doesn’t “do” Santa Claus.
Now before you go and judge me or think that I am an extremely judgmental-grinch trying to steal the fun of Christmas for children everywhere…allow me to explain what led to the Saint Nicholas censorship in the Haefs household.
I grew up in a home that observed all the typical Santa traditions… stockings, chimneys, reindeer, letters, milk and cookies… you know how it goes. Holly’s family didn’t pay Santa much attention, but neither was he actively discounted. Now, both of us have wonderful childhood Christmas memories, and do not feel like “exposure” to Santa traumatized either of us. So, you would think we would naturally have no problems with continuing Santa traditions with our children. That was the original plan… at least for me.
As Holly and I became more serious in our relationship, we had more serious conversations about our future, including marriage and children. Believe it or not, our largest disagreement was over whether or not we would “do” Santa with our children. I was in favor of Papa Noel…she was not.
Now what was her concern and what won me over to her side? It was not anything you might have heard before…like the fact that “Santa” can be rearranged to spell “Satan,” or that we were worried that if we lied to our children about Santa they would think we lied about Jesus too…no…those things didn’t have any bearing on our decision. There was actually one central factor that changed my mind about Kris Kringle…
Time.
I only have so much time with my children…only so much time to invest in them…only so much time to show them what is important…only so much time to point them to Jesus.
The Christmas season gets so cluttered and crowded with things that do not matter. I already find it difficult to point my kids toward Christ when there are so many other things are begging for their attention. I simply did not want to add and promote another distraction. In the list of things that were important to me at Christmas time…Santa simply lost.
Now, this leads people to ask me a million questions and I want to try and address what are probably the top three most frequently asked. If you have additional questions, please feel free to leave them in the comment section and I’ll do my best to answer.
1. How do you shield your kids from Santa?
We don’t. We want our kids to be knowledgeable about the culture in which they live, able to interpret it and engage it. So our kids are very aware of Santa…in fact they sat on his lap last night at the Brookwood mall. At this point, you might be confused. Here’s the deal…they know Santa is pretend (like a cartoon character), but they still enjoy him as much as they do any other character in a costume (think Mickey Mouse). We let them watch the same cartoons that we did growing up (claymation Rudolph, The Grinch, Frosty, etc) and they are welcome to sit on Santa’s lap…but, in their minds, he is merely on the periphery of the season and nowhere near the center.
For instance, if you ask my kids why they receive presents…Santa will be the furthest thing from their minds. They’d tell you that we give and receive gifts as a reminder that Christmas celebrates the giving and receiving of the greatest gift…God giving his only son Jesus to be received by the world. I promise you, this makes Christmas morning no less “magical.” If anything…it is more “magical.” I mean…we are celebrating God taking on flesh! A man scooting down chimneys simply cannot compete with that. Santa, the pretend guy, gets to be on the outskirts of Christmas, but Jesus gets the center. This naturally leads to the next question.
2. What do you do in place of Santa?
We technically still include Santa…just in his proper place…December 6th. That is the feast day of the real Saint Nicholas. On that day, we tell our children about Nicholas’ life and do a few small things to celebrate his feast day.
That still leaves people wondering what we do throughout the rest of December and especially on the 25th. Well, we observe Advent as a family. Each day, we try to set aside to time (usually at dinner) to light our Advent wreath, read Scripture, and talk about what it means that Jesus came and he will come again. Advent is a season of waiting and longing for the coming Messiah…the greatest gift. Thus, Christmas works as a perfect teaching analogy as your kids wait and long for the coming of gifts.
We still sing songs (primarily about Jesus), go look at Christmas lights (reminding us of the coming light of the world), decorate a tree (much like Jesus would make a cross/tree a beautiful symbol), etc. We simply try to make Jesus the center of all these traditions.
On Christmas day, we read Luke 2 and open presents. We try to limit the amount of presents to stem the tide of materialism. Each child receives three plus small stocking items…yes we do stockings. How do we explain how they get filled? You know what’s funny?…our kids have never asked that question. Limiting the number of gifts also frees up funds to teach our children how to be generous by example. We spend the rest of the day celebrating, eating, laughing, praying, playing…it looks like a pretty normal Christmas day actually…we just talk about Jesus instead of Santa. It really isn’t complicated. Actually…I believe it is less complicated.
3. Do you think “doing” Santa is harmful and that other people should make the same decision you have?
This is always a fun question…because my answer is yes and no. I believe there is a way to “do” Santa that can be potentially harmful, but it doesn’t have to be. If people want to “do” Santa with their kids, I would NOT insist that they make the same decision that my family has or they’re wrong, but I would encourage them to “do” Santa in such a way that points their family toward Jesus.
Here’s what I mean. The traditional concept of Santa stands in direct contradiction to the gospel, which is the heart of Christmas. Santa keeps a checklist of who is naughty or nice…and so you need to work hard, behave right so that you can be rewarded with gifts. This is not the gospel…it is works based righteousness…legalism. Our kids are already hard-wired legalists…they don’t need us reinforcing their natural bent. Christmas…the gospel…grace is designed to counter and contradict legalism. God sent his son to an undeserving world to save us. We were given this gift freely. We could not earn it. We were all on the naughty list and Jesus took our lump of coal so that we could have an eternal gift…him!
If you are going to do Santa, then brainstorm/imagine/dream/think of ways to use him as a pointer to Jesus…a pointer to the gospel…a pointer to grace.
The Joy of Glory 
This was very enlightening to me. Just recently my son has asked so many questions about Santa and has been comparing him to God. I think in part because of the whole Santa is watching you thing. I get so confused over what to say to him. He thinks he can pray to Santa like he can to God. We quickly nipped that out of the question. I think what you have implemented makes so much more sense. Now, just trying to transition the whole thing gently will be a challenge. I think I will think about each step of the way gradually this year and maybe next year do things a little differently. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you for explaining and sharing. Love it!
Dang you, Jonathan! This made perfect sense.
Jonathan, we used to do things the way you are describing. Then at some point we began researching the origins of “Christmas” itself and the many traditions, such as the wreath, yule log, tree, etc. We came to the knowledge of how the whole thing has pagan origins and was never intended to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Notice that it never mentions Christmas in the Bible anywhere. Check it out for yourself and you’ll see.
Hey busymom (love the user name),
Thanks for your comment. It is really funny that you should bring this up because it is actually the next topic in my “Christmas blog series” that I intend to address. So I’ll save most of my thoughts for next Tuesday, but here are just a few…
As a pastor, I hear this critique of Christmas every year, namely, that Christians should not celebrate it because it has pagan origins. It is true that pagan celebrations preceded the celebration of Christmas, however, as the Roman empire became overwhelmingly Christian, they sought to replace their pagan celebrations with ones that were centered around Christ. This is what Christianity does. It transforms people, traditions, celebrations, music, art, etc. The fact that there was once a winter solstice celebration where Christmas now stands has no bearing on the Christ-centeredness of Christmas. Just like springtime fertility celebrations have no bearing on the Christ-centeredness of Easter.
Also, we shouldn’t let the fact that Christmas is not in the Bible bother us. Chanukah is not in the Bible either. That festival’s origins go back to the inter-testamental period (between the Old and New Testaments). Yet, in John 10:22 Jesus was in Jerusalem for the feast of dedication. The Hebrew word for dedication is “Chanukah.” Jesus went to Jerusalem and observed Chanukah as any other Jew would. It was not a Scriptural feast, but still a festive occasion that pointed Israel to God’s faithfulness and provision. Jesus also went to synagogue, which is not prescribed by the Old Testament either. Fact of the matter is that there are many things we practice which are not prescribed by Scripture, but they can be done in a way that distracts from Christ or points us to Christ. My plea is that we would all celebrate Christmas in such a way that does the latter and not the former.
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
PS – Check back next Tuesday for more thoughts on this subject.
Interesting to hear how families handle this issue. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Jonathan. But I can’t let one little point pass without comment. The Roman Empire actually became “Catholic”…NOT Christian. Maybe not germane to the discussion, but I’d hate for others to get the two confused. 🙂
Hey Darlene,
Thanks for the comment. This history of the Catholic church as we know it today is very complex and it depends upon who you ask as to when Roman Catholicism actually began. Yet, Christianity became the state sanctioned religion of the empire around 380 AD…and I would agree that this definitely was a major step toward Catholicism as we know it. However, this was also still the period of the church fathers/councils/and creed formations to which even most protestant churches trace their heritage. The reformers went back to the fathers (like Augustine ca. ) to support their arguments during the reformation. Hence, I wouldn’t say that it was Catholicism exactly as we know it today that first spread throughout the empire. The whole empire was not made up of true believers, but there were many. Just like our churches today are filled with both true believers and unbelievers. I believe this to be true of protestant and Catholic churches…both have people who truly embrace Jesus through faith…and both do not. I understand Catholic doctrine and do believe that the official doctrine of the church is antithetical to the gospel of salvation by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone…yet I have known many catholics that are true believers in Jesus and many protestants who don’t understand the gospel and base their salvation on works-based righteousness. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think the “dividing line” is as clean as you make it…historically or practically. The gospel did spread throughout Rome and over time, the official state church distorted that Gospel. I hope this is helpful. Thanks again for commenting!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the above! I will look for this article.
This was so enlightening! I am curious about your children’s interaction with others when the “Santa” subject comes up and how it’s addressed in school. Although schools these days probably just say “Happy Holidays” and leave the rest to parents. Thanks for sharing.
Hey Amber,
That is a GREAT question. Fortunately this is not too big of a risk for us as our kids are homeschooled. Still, they have very active social lives at church, playgroups, co-op, etc. We have only experienced this happening once so far and it was last year. Charis, my daughter, told one of her friends that Santa was not real. Her friend didn’t believe her, so I guess no “harm” was done. We simply reinforced with her what we had told her before, namely, that many parents play the “Santa game” with their children and they want to keep it a secret. We tell them that we have just chosen not to play the “Santa game” because different people celebrate Christmas differently. So, we tell them, lets do the other parents a favor and not spoil their game.
I’m not sure if this is the best answer to your question, but it is how we have approached this situation so far. Thanks for asking and I hope this is somewhat helpful!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
My sister doesn’t do Santa with her kids, either. She has turned the family stockings into the “super special” gifts — the one or two gifts that REALLY speak to who or what the person is instead of just getting a baby doll, etc. She’s also taught her girls not to talk to others about the validity of Santa as a means of respect because it is what another believes. I have found this a beautiful way to prepare her children as witnesses to others — without judgement and only acknowledging differences, her kids will be to come along side others, without her kids having to modify their own beliefs, and build relationships. Relationships are key to sharing the gospel effectively.
Our family is similar to yours, teaching about St. Nicholas rather than Santa, and warning not to spill the secret to friends. One year I overheard our youngest telling a friend that Santa wasn’t real. Catching my “look”, he quickly added, ” I mean he WAS real (St. Nicholas), but now he’s dead!” Oh, my!
What a great post! My family handled the “Santa issue” very similarly to how you describe here. While my husband and I have elected to “do” Santa in our home, I don’t feel like I missed out on anything as a kid. This is a wonderful way to include all the traditions of the season while focusing on what’s important.
I LOVE this post! Thank you for writing it! We never did Santa with our kids….much to the chagrin of many friends and acquaintances. Our kids never inquired about the stockings either. Everything worked great until our son informed his entire first grade class that St. Nick was really DEAD! Yeah….didn’t go over so well. HA! Again, thank you for taking the time to put into words the thought process of so many!
Excellent explanation…the best I’ve ever heard/read. I love how you and Holly are always taking the opportunity to lead your children…our grandchildren…towards The Lord. Thank you.
Excellent post Jonathan!! We also don’t “do” Santa. We know that Christ coming to earth is a way bigger reason to celebrate than a fat man in a suit.
The funniest part? The dirty looks my kids give adults when they ask what Santa’s bringing them!!! Or when they tell adults that Christmas is about Baby Jesus (along with the snarky look!).
I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been asked if we’re Jehovah’s Witness. Gees people. It’s CHRISTmas.
Thanks – God bless and Merry Christmas to you all!!!
Carrie,
The “dirty looks” and “snarky looks” your kids give might be funny to you, but, trust me, they’re only funny.to.you.
Those looks come across as rude, arrogant and disrespectful. Consider this: adults, some of whom don’t really know how to speak to young children (I’m one of them), see it as an easy way to start a conversation–trying to be polite. A change from the “what grade are you in school” question.
I like the “Santa game” response. It allows children to answer the question without causing other children to question/challenge/feel confused about their own parents’ choices–in any are, but this one seems to be extra sensitive. I’ve had to deal with the fallout in Children’s Church more than once from the kid (sometimes an oops, and sometimes a haughty declaration) who reveals Santa’s identity (or lack thereof). It’s not pretty.
We can disagree, but we have to disagree politely. And, even more importantly, teach our children to disagree politely.
we have had a very similar approach to the whole santa thing with our kids. when faced with santa comments/questions from others, my kids simply reply “we give each other presents for Jesus’s birthday, and _____ is what I’m hoping to get this year.”
I am impressed with this post. I raised my girls on the whole Santa thing but never felt good about it. When they asked why some kids got more than others, we moved to the “mom n dad pay Santa to bring your gifts” which was even worse because the barrier between the have and the have-nots widened in their minds. My girls are grown now. One celebrates traditional Christmas with gifts and Elf on a Shelf. They do toys but try to focus more on experiences than presents. The other is extremely opposite. There is no Santa coming down the chimney although my four year old grand daughter plays along with other kids. Their focus is on family and giving. Limited presents. All must have a personal touch added if store bought but handmade are most treasured. This includes homemade coupons books for trips to the zoo, the pool, parks, or free yard work or homemade treats, etc. framed photos and photo books from the previous year, anything made from Pinterest, etc. But the highlight of their Christmas makes me most proud. Christmas morning stockings and breakfast are shared and a birthday cake is baked and decorated for Jesus. Gifts are opened, and then they take a trip to a nursing home to share the cake with the elderly. Of course there is never enough cake but the visits my grand daughter has with these folks is priceless. This will be the fifth year for them. It is important to take time on Christmas to make the cake and not bake it ahead because God always has time for us. And of course involve the kids in the baking…even if it’s just stirring or licking the spoon. I would not say they are radical Christians, they attend church. But they are teaching her the joy and love from giving as God loves and gives to us.
How much time do parents put into “doing” Santa? My kids get a book from Santa every year. Santa doesn’t bring everything because I don’t want them to be ungrateful to us and grandparents who actually do being them gifts. We never told my older boys that Santa exists. My younger 3 WANT to believe in Santa so we play along but I can’t say we’ve wasted time on Santa.
Hey Donita,
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. The amount of time a family spends on “doing” Santa varies from house to house. For many, Santa (and everything associated with him) because the central focus of the season and Jesus simply gets an honorable mention. There are many Christmas movies you could watch that I think would give you a better idea of how most families traditionally approach Santa and how he becomes the central focus. Thanks again for taking the time to comment.
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
What a blessing to read! Thank you for sharing your choices as a family for celebrating Christmas! We have not yet told our kids that Santa is not real, but are almost there… We never bring him up and the kids rarely do. We try to keep our focus on Jesus through serving others, Advent, and making a happy birthday Jesus cake on Christmas Eve. I love your reasoning– TIME! I’m looking forward to your posts to come!
Do you also explain to your children that Christ was in fact NOT born on December 25th?
Hey Momma Bear,
My children are still pretty young… 6, 4, and 7 months. Thus, we haven’t gone too far into the technical details surrounding why we celebrate the birth of Christ on December 25th. I’m not sure what all research you have done, but the history behind the choice of this date is actually rather complex and there are various opinions as to why it was chosen. Some simply say it was because Christians wanted to replace pagan winter solstice festivals with a Christ-centered celebration. Others refer to an early tradition that Christ was conceived on March 25th and from that date, December 25th was determined as his birthday…this was promoted by early church fathers such as Irenaeus and possibly Hippolytus of Rome. In reality, we simply don’t know when Jesus was born, but that is no less cause to celebrate his birth. I will explain the complexity behind this history to my kids one day, but right now it is simply not our focus. Thanks for commenting!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
we do not know the actual date but we do know the approximate time. You seem to have done a lot of research but you need to research more. My children are 4 & 6 and they know Christ was not born on this day. Why would you teach them so young that he was but then have to retract that statement by explaining he wasn’t. And this day is truly a day the Roman Catholic churxh stole from the Pagan tradition and should not be kept as a christian holiday. How can christians be so overwhelming to keep these man mande holidays but keep God’s truly commanded Holy Days. I applaud you for not instilling Santa in your children but you are still filing them with lies and deceit but telling them Christ was born on this day. Why don’t you research why May & Joseph were going to Bethlehem, what time of year it was and why the Inns were full!
Dear Momma Bear,
Again, thank you for your comments and thoughts. I do try to keep the comment section of my blog open for discussion, but I also try to protect it from becoming a place of heated argument and accusations. Please know that I do not aim, in anything, to fill my children with lies and deceit. I think you might be making some assumptions about my family and perhaps I should clarify a bit more. I do not teach my children that December 25th is Jesus’ actual birth date as we do not know when he was born. I teach that that this is the time we have chosen to set aside to celebrate the fact that he was born.
As far as knowing the approximate time of year…I’m not sure who you are reading that is giving you such certainty, but the majority of scholarship (Christian and non-Christian alike) agree that we really don’t know what time of year Jesus was born. There are a few theories that result in different guesses, but at the end of the day, we don’t know. Even the census does not provide enough information as we are not even entirely sure what year that census was taken. It was probably 7/6BC, but we don’t know for sure. Nor do we know much about the time of year the census was issued or the amount of time people would have to register. Some say that Jesus could not have been born in the winter simply because Shepherds were tending their flocks in the fields and would not do so during that time of year. While that is generally true, research does show that there are certain Bethlehem shepherd communities that kept their flocks out year round. I’m not trying to be difficult at all. I’ve read multiple arguments from scholars who emphatically try to pin down different dates, but at the end of the day…we just don’t know.
Concerning the pagan roots of the Christmas celebration, I am actually writing a blog on that subject next Tuesday. Once again, this is a debated topic, but I will be writing about why I believe it is ok and good to celebrate Christmas even if it does have pagan roots. I encourage you to check back then if you would like to know more about why I do the things I do with my family.
Again, thank you for your comments. I pray that whatever you do or don’t with your family points them to Jesus and you all continue to grow in the grace and love of God.
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
I know this will show up as a reply under the post by Jonathan, but it doesn’t give me the option to post under the next momma bear post. However, that is the post I am responding to. I grew up being told that we celebrated Christmas as Jesus’ birthday. That’s what my parents told me. My grandmother is a Jehovah’s witness so when I was discussing it with her as a child she gently pointed out the same point you have, that it’s not even his birthday. I could not have even been 9 yet. As always (and this is not a bad thing, I love this about my grandma) she had plenty of resources to point out to me on why it was silly to celebrate this holiday, especially in light of the fact that that date wasn’t his birthday.My parents had never discussed this with me, and I did ask them about it after the fact. At that moment though, I explained to my grandma why I thought we should celebrate Christmas on that day. My answer was simple, if a friend of mine was adopted and didn’t know their actual birthday and all of their family celebrated it on a certain day, then I would celebrate with them on that day. The fact that that particular date had once been a pagan holiday didn’t mean anything to me, then or now. In my childlike understanding of things, it seemed perfect. On a day that used to be a disgrace and that God did not like we now to choose to make it holy and a day to bring him glory. To me it seemed like a plus that the body of Christ had managed to change the meaning of a day so drastically.
We don’t do Santa w our kids, but in the culture we live it is so hard to ignore him and now the elves and all number of distractions that I truly believe seek to distract. We pretty much do the same as you all, and our kids are a little older now 18, 12, 10 and 7, so we have had lots of ups and down, looks, and accusations about depriving our kids, etc. one thing we do with presents, and we too limit them, is to,allow them a couple before actual Christmas day, so they enjoy them throughout the month, amongst our other Christmas activities ar church, nursing homes with friends and neighbors etc. But the Lord is so gracious and allows us to navigate our way each season, whilst keeping our focus on Christ.
With regard to the 25th as the actual day, we have dug around a bit, and it is really hard to piniont Jesus actual birthdate, but we celebrate His birth much like our own birthdays, which we are not always able to do on the actual day due to family circumstances, etc, one being my stepdaughter who we do not always get to see on her actual birthdate but we still celebrate her and her birthday when we are able to with her. We need to celebrate is brith and remember His death and resurrection so we know why we have the hope that is within js. I think Christmas is such a beautiful reminder of our salvation, cause without Jesus humbling himself as a baby born to a poorer family, we would not have the hope and joy of heaven and our reconciliation to God through Jesus ultimate purpose for coming which was to die for the sins of man so we could spend eternity with Him and bring Him glory.
Thanks for your words.
How would you recommend handling grandparents who are not taking your decision to not do Santa seriously? My MIL is very sweet and giving but she sometimes makes comments and does things that encourage the belief in Santa. My dad just the other day was asking my little girls if they’d been good this year…my kiddos seem to want to believe in Santa so badly in spite of my best efforts to not do Santa. They are four and two. We do advent nightly and sing happy birthday Jesus and celebrate on Christmas. I have spoken to my four year old about who st Nicholas is and she still ends up talking about Santa as if he exists. I am feeling at a loss. Just wondered your thoughts on the subject.
Hey Momofhope,
You have really good questions and a very difficult situation…but, I would not stress too much. I think the key is consistency. Just keep doing what you are doing. Ultimately, you’re consistency in pointing your children to Jesus will have a greater impact than you know. Our children are naturally affected by the culture around them. What you are experiencing is only a preview of what is to come. As children grow older they tend to resist our instruction in favor of what the culture around them is offering. I do not mean this as discouragement, but as encouragement to remain faithful in pointing them to Christ and see how God uses that in their hearts and lives. I would suggest continuing to tell them St. Nicholas was a real man, but Santa is more like a cartoon character. I would continue your advent practices. This will help them to grow in being centered on Jesus.
Concerning your dad and MIL…that is a bit more complex. The best you can do is share your wishes with them and ask that they respect your decisions in raising your kids. Again, you will end up having a greater impact on your children than their grandparents through your consistency. Be encouraged…I think you are doing what you need to be doing.
I love the magic of Christmas and Santa and Elf on the Shelf! So this is hard for me. I definitely agree with you that Jesus is more important but I don’t know that I am ready to fully break my child’s belief in Santa. There is something very sweet about that innocence. I remember when my parents told me Santa was not real, my mom explained the tradition of St. Nick and the giving of gifts to children to celebrate Jesus. It was not a sad time, but my parents never put a big focus on Satan. It was part of Christmas, but certainly not the biggest part.
I think Jesus should absolutely be the focus, but I don’t think an innocent belief in Santa takes away from Jesus if you do it correctly I will think on this more and would love your thoughts on the following questions. My daughter is 3.5. How would you go about breaking the Santa belief for families that have already started it? Also, how do you prevent your child from breaking the news to other kids?
Hey Lauren,
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I totally understand your struggle. When my wife and I first began discussing this…I was very pro-Santa. I couldn’t imagine Christmas without the traditions I had grown-up with as a child. I had to wrestle through all the implications for a while.
Also, please know that what your family chooses to do may not look like what my family has done. This is why I included question #3. I do think there is a way that Santa can be included, but even then I would want him to point to Christ.
Just so you know, I don’t think our lack of Santa has made Christmas any less magical. My children wonder and marvel at the fact that God came to save us by taking on flesh. Their eyes sparkle just as much on Christmas morning as mine ever did. Another interesting thought concerns my own mother’s reaction to this blog. Here are her words in her email to me, “Wish we had had this same mindset when raising you and your siblings!” And here is my response to her, “Don’t worry about that mom. You didn’t scar us AT ALL! The reason all your kids have taken this route is because of the Christ-centered parenting you and Dad lived out in our home. We have taken the next logical step on the path you put us all on.” Ultimately, you must spend time in prayer, ask for the Lord’s guidance, and decide what is best for your family. Please do not feel condemned by my blog. My prayer is that even if people do Santa…perhaps this will stir thoughts/desires to do it in a more Christ-centered fashion.
Concerning your questions… I’m not sure what the best way for a family to transition away from Santa would be as I have never done that myself. I think instead of total break, I would probably just try to begin reshaping those traditions to be focused more on Christ. Then, once my children were old enough we would probably transition completely. Now, as far as keeping my kids from telling other children…Fortunately this is not too big of a risk for us as our kids are homeschooled. Still, they have very active social lives at church, playgroups, co-op, etc. We have only experienced this happening once so far and it was last year. Charis, my daughter, told one of her friends that Santa was not real. Her friend didn’t believer her, so I guess no “harm” was done. We simply reinforced with her what we had told her before, namely, that many parents play the “Santa game” with their children and they want to keep it a secret. We tell them that we have just chosen not to play the “Santa game” because different people celebrate Christmas differently. So, we tell them, lets do the other parents a favor and not spoil their game. I’m not sure if this is the best answer to your question, but it is how we have approached this situation so far.
Thank you again for taking the time to comment! I hope this helps you as you think and pray!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
Great article. I didn’t “do” Santa with my kids either. They are 23, 21, and 19. It didn’t warp them. They will not open a single gift until we have read the Christmas story
Just to let you know, the ad that appeared under this post for me was one of people doing shots! I know you don’t control those ads, but I thought you would want to know anyway! Great post!
Thanks for letting me know Lauren. You’re right that I don’t have control over the ads. I will probably do some more research to see if there is a way to request certain kinds of ads for my page. Thanks for the heads up!
Just wanted you to know that I figured out how to remove the ads. It costs $30 per year, but is totally worth it. Thanks for the heads up and you shouldn’t see the ads anymore!
I am trying to lead my family more towards a Christ centered life, myself included. I’m insecure on where/how to start; you mentioned your family reads Scripture in the evenings during Advent. Will you make some suggestions? I have never read all of the Bible (I’m embarrassed to admit) and would appreciate your guidance.
Hey Mommapenguin,
I’m a pastor at a local church in Birmingham, and our church puts together a family advent chain each year. It is like the green and red chains you might have made when you were a kid…25 links and you tear one off per day to count down to Christmas. Well…we make the chain with one link for each day of Advent. At supper, our kids pull off a link and on it is a Scripture with a discussion question. That is where our readings come from. I could possibly send you a PDF of this if you like via email.
You can always google “Advent” reading plans…there are many. Another option is something called “The Jesse Tree.” You can buy a Jesse Tree book like this one: http://www.amazon.com/The-Advent-Jesse-Tree-Devotions/dp/1426712103/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1386270602&sr=8-1&keywords=Jesse+Tree
It will take you through the big story of Scripture, beginning with creation, and lead all the way up to the birth of Christ. It is designed to be read during Advent. Typically, there is an ornament to make for each story and hang on your tree. It is a cool interactive way of reading through the story of Scripture during the Advent season. I hope this helps.
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
Great post! We give three gifts to our daughter on Christmas each representing a gift from the Magi. She is five and I loved our conversation this month in which she showed her amazing grasp of why we do it this way. She receives a gold gift–sometimes a little more expensive, always something asked for–to represent that Jesus came to be our King. She receives a frankincense gift–with spiritual emphasis–to represent that He came to be our high priest. She also receives a myrr gift–for her body–to represent the good news that He came to be our Savior.
Hey Duckturner,
That is similar to the manner in which we decided on the number of gifts to give our children, but I find the symbolism you are using very fascinating! One question…can you give me more detail on the “myrrh” gift. I’m not sure what you mean by “for her body.” Thanks!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
This is great! I just spoke in a MOPS meeting about being intentional about Christ with our children at Christmas time. I wish I would have read this before Monday.
Thanks for the encouragement Holly! Please feel free to share it with your MOPS group if you feel like it would be beneficial.
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
Funny, I did the exact same thing with my oldest child. Except, I made a big deal about knowing the difference between fiction and non- fiction. He is now an adult and has turned out well adjusted.
Almost forgot….we also included a birthday cake for Jesus in the shape of a crown (because He is our King) with as many candles as would fit (because He is the light) for breakfast on Christmas morning. My son said it was his favorite part of Christmas.
While my family did “santa”, I always made Christmas about Jesus. I turned the day into a birthday celebration with a party, cake, candles and banners on the house.
I live in the United Arab Emirates, and the Muslims and Christians celebrate “Christmas”…with all the Santa traditions. It’s a fairy tale, and childhood is short. We are able to separate religion and childhood fantasy. My Children know Jesus, and know that Christmas is a commercial holiday, and that some people tie the birth of Jesus to it. I think you can do both, have the magic of Santa, and a strong belief in Jesus. When we lived in Japan, same thing- Christmas is EVERY where in the world, even in non-Christian countries. It is a global time to spend time with your family, and take time out of our daily lives to slow down for a day or two.
I told my son that “Santa” is based on St. Nicholas/Father Christmas legend of a man who was so happy about the birth of Christ that he gave people gifts to celebrate. I said that “Santa” is still around, Santa might not be the guy in the red suit, Santa wears normal clothes during the year, and if he (my son) paid attention, he would figure out who Santa was.
When he finally figured out who Santa was, I explained that “Santa” is a code name for someone who gives gifts without seeking recognition, and now that he was in on the secret, he could be Santa, too.
I’m curious in what ways you acknowledge St. Nicholas on the feast day. It seems like a gentle and redemptive way to incorporate the person of St. Nicholas. Would you please share?
Hey Cynthia,
What we do is very minimal and simple. The night before (so last night…Dec 5th) we read a story about Saint Nicholas (there are many books available as well as online resources). Typically we read the one involving him providing the “dowry” for three poor girls. Then our kids put their shoes outside their bedroom door for the night (it comes from the story) and we fill them with chocolate gold coins (again, from the story). We call this the Saint Nicholas game…they know it is us, but they still have a blast and think it is so fun. Then, on Saint Nicholas’ feast day (today…Dec 6) they receive their candy. We may talk a little more about Saint Nicholas and how he tried to serve people without them knowing it was him so that they would give God the glory. We encourage our kids to think of something kind they can do for someone else in secret and to do that during the day. There are also online resources for various activities you can have for your children. I hope this is helpful. Thanks for commenting!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
I LOVE the Christmas season and all that goes with it!!! I was taught by my parents “Santa” is the spirit of giving. We did not have much money many times, but my parents always knew a family who would be unable to share gifts. So, we “played Santa” to this family. We knew this meant LESS for us in gifts, but no amount of gifts could ever have given us the joy we received as we took gifts to another family. “Per my parents: We celebrate Christmas as Christ’s Birthday. We don’t really know when he was born, just as your Grandmother’s not sure when she was born, so a day was picked to celebrate Christ’s Birthday, just as my Grandmother “picked” a day for HER Birthday celebration. Is Santa really REAL? You bet!! He’s the spirit of giving and when “I’ give, I’m Santa!!! When the recepiant responds with a smile, a thank you, a hug, whatever, that person is Santa to me. My parent’s explanation was gifts were brought to the Baby Jesus and that was the beginning of giving gifts on Christ’s Birthday. A smile, a hug, a thank you, even tears are gifts that cannot be bought and are so much better than a toy or anything else material!!! At 70 years of age, I KNOW there is a Santa!!!!! As with so many things, I KNOW there is MY GOD, JESUS, and HEAVEN, because my HEART says so and I don’t need any other “proof”. So I wish everyone a most Joyous Christmas season however you chose to explain, not explain, celebrate, not celebrate!! I just thought, ummmmmmmmm Merry Christmas, could that have come from Mary and Christ?????? Oh, I LOVE that new thought!!!! Claudia
Funny how we do Santa, in the exact same way you don’t do Santa… And stockings get full because that is where the hand made presents we make for each other go 🙂 it was funny last week I took my daughter to the mall and she got all excited about him and then in an aside to me she said “Mom it’s so fun to pretend. “
I never ‘believed in’ Santa and never taught my children to ‘believe in’ Santa. When my son was 4, he asked me if he would get more presents if he believed in Santa. I laughed and told him no. He said okay, he was just checking. He was always one to try to figure out all of his options 🙂 Later that same year, he came to me and told me he really had everything he needed, lets just get gifts for his baby sister this year. He was always a sweet boy. I was often accused of ruining Christmas for my children, but we have wonderful Christ-centered, Christmas memories.
I wanted to say that though I am not religious I admire the manner in which you handle yourself and Santa.
To me Christmas is a celebration of my love for my friends and family, and reading this article was refreshing because I feel our overall goals are the same, as I do not “do” Santa either.
I took from it a message I try and live by, that just because we do not all make the same choices in life, it doesn’t mean the way you live is wrong. I appreciate your respect of others (in the article and the comments). It’s a refreshing thing to see on the internet.
I’m a progressive Christian and I very much agree with Happyatheist. Great parenting is great parenting no matter what your faith. Thanks for the post.
What?!?! Santa’s not real?
We took an approach similar to yours in our house. Before we made the decision, I was the type of person who started decorating early and everywhere, used two large Christmas trees and several small ones. But, the Lord convicted me of how much attention Santa was getting and how pagan some of the practices were.
When family comes to our house for Christmas now, there is no Christmas tree to be the center. We set up a nativity set in its place. My kids knew early on that Santa wasn’t real and they were part of the decision making process when we decided to purge him almost completely from our home. I think there is one set of Santa nesting dolls and some reindeer stuff left (Salvation Army probably outfitted six houses will all we gave away that one year). We spend more time/space on snowmen and Christmas village type stuff now.
One of the BIG things I found was that the decorating weekend changed to a decorating morning with so much less stress. Instead of being angry and crazed about it, it is so easy. It still looks pretty, but I don’t feel overwhelmed.
Santa does still bring gifts for the stockings, but they are generally very small and unimportant gifts and candy. The big gifts come from parents and other relatives. Like you, we still watch Christmas movies for the fun of it, but it just isn’t the focus of our life. We sing Christmas carols and eat holiday foods around our nativity scene and keep Christ, as much as possible, at the center.
We didn’t “do” Santa when our kids were growing up , either. We didn’t shield our kids from him, either, but there were no trips to the mall to wait in line, no letters, no threats of being “naughty” or “nice”. We definitely did the Advent Wreath and baby Jesus appeared in our nativity on Christmas morning. Did our kids focus on presents? No, they really didn’t. Of course they were excited but they grew up loving everything about the season. They were just as excited to put money in the Salvation Army bucket and sing Christmas carols as they were about presents. The other day, my youngest, now 22, was happy to find money in his pocket he didn’t know he had while we were out shopping. He walked straight over to the Salvation Army bell ringer, put the money in the bucket, shook the bell ringers hand and wished him a Merry Christmas. It brought joy to my heart to know that my kids have not been short changed at all over the years. In fact, I think they really get what Christmas is all about.
It is incredible to me that you would say that people who are concerned that they could lose credibility with their children by lying to them about Santa are practicing “nonsense.”
This kind of arrogance is repulsive and disgusting and one reason I can barely stand to read anything written by Christians.
Hey Himmelblip Grunkenstein,
I’m sorry that upset you by my use of the word “nonsense.” I was in no way trying to be arrogant or offend someone who has used that line of reasoning for not doing Santa. You are right that I should have chosen my words more carefully. I will reconsider my use of the word in that context and try to express my meaning better. Thank you for pointing this out. I pray nothing but blessings toward you.
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
Thank you. I apologize for the harshness of my language.
No worries. Blessings and a merry Christmas!
I love this! One argument about a side comment the author makes: “It was not anything crazy like… we were worried that if we lied to our children about Santa they would think we lied about Jesus too…no…none of that nonsense.”
While my husband and I COMPLETELY agree with your main point (and have always raised our kids with the same mindset), I also would not call it nonsense to take to heart that our kids DO and SHOULD be able to look to us parents to rely on for Truth.
Instilling in my children faith in a Being they can’t see is my #1 job. I’m not going to jeopardize that responsibility by telling the truth about one invisible being while “kidding” about another.
I know that the argument as you put it sounds totally extremist and cliche… but not all cliches are untrue (even if they may annoy us).
Just so no one thinks that I am putting my children’s eternity ahead of fun worldly traditions (ahem… sarcasm), we also treat Santa as a fun “game” we play at Christmas – a pretend character like Mickey Mouse, as you say, who is just as enjoyable. He simply does not play the central role in our family’s Christmas.
Hey Andrea,
One other commenter has just mentioned the same thing that you are pointing out concerning my use of the word “nonsense.” Thank you for your humble honesty. I do think it distracts from what I am trying to communicate and I do not want to belittle anyone who uses that line of reasoning for not doing Santa. I will be editing the blog shortly to try and better communicate my meaning. Thanks for commenting!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
Hi, Jonathan! Well – the message of your blog post is just so well-put and so important – that’s the only reason I wanted to point out something that maybe you hadn’t had a chance to consider. Keep up the awesome work and keep getting the Word out!! God bless you! Prayers – Andrea
Just want to let you know, I’ve never really wanted to ‘follow’ anyone’s blog until now. I read this post and all of the responses you gave to the comments and am encouraged by your knowledge, humility, and careful consideration of the issue. And primarily because I sense a sincere and truthful heart that loves Jesus and wants to give Him his rightful place in your life and the lives of others. Thank you. This helps me.
Hey Jan,
Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. They mean more than you know. I’m thankful you found the blog helpful and my hope is truly that it points people toward Jesus. Thank you again for commenting.
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
My family never did Santa Claus either. I got in trouble when I was littel for ruining it for other kids at school
Jonathan,
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. You do so in a very informative, and non-combative or argumentative way.
My wife and I share different beliefs about the entire way we celebrate Christmas.Guess what? It’s perfectly fine. We both respect the way each other feels and have incorporated both our beliefs in the way we approach Dec.25th. It’s made for great family discussions and I feel it’s definitely pointed our kids towards the true meaning of Christmas and Jesus.
One part of Christmas morning that we all love together, (the 6 of us), is we wake up, sit in center of the front room floor, pray, discuss the day, and then do a family communion. Then we open our gifts. Our kids love it and it’s the best part of our day.. Our kids are 7,12,16, and 20. Even the 20 year old is still excited.
Again, thank you. I’m glad I found your blog, and I can’t wait to read next Tuesday. That’s a big discussion in our home.
Kenny
Thanks so much for this thought-provoking post. We also don’t do Santa with our kids, but I had always thought it was more for the truth-telling reason than the time reason. However, we are very conscious of the limited time we have to influence our children for Christ, which is why we homeschool, and why we do many other things the way that we do them. So I really enjoyed the fleshing-out of this idea in the realm of Santa and celebrating Christmas with purpose, as well. It’s given me a lot to think about.
I wanted to mention something else. I was raised not believing in Santa (although we did “play along” with the idea, the way you do with people in costumes and such), and here’s the funny part…even before my parents began attending church and were saved (I was about 7), they didn’t “do” Santa with us because it wasn’t true! It was imperative to them that my sister and I knew we could trust our parents not to lie to us. My mom has mentioned several times how traumatic it was for her as a child when she learned that Santa wasn’t real, and how deceived she felt. Then it was the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, too! She felt that her parents had tricked her, and she became suspicious that all those people at church and Sunday school were trying to pull the wool over her eyes about God being real.
So it’s not just an “out there” possibility that a child’s belief in God would be affected by the Santa lie. (It sounds harsh to use the word “lie,” but telling your child that there’s a man in a red suit with flying reindeer who comes down the chimney and gives them presents is, well, a lie…no matter how “magical” or culturally-accepted it sounds. The Santa celebrated in our culture is a fabrication who has very little in common with the historical figure of St. Nicholas.) If my kids can’t trust me not to trick them into believing in false supernatural beings like Santa and the Tooth Fairy, how do they know I’m not just making up all that stuff about God, too?
I think the issue of time that you raised is probably even more central and more at the heart, though. God has entrusted us with the task of raising these children to know Him and love Him, and we only have so many opportunities to influence them. By the same token, lying to them is certainly foolishness that should be avoided at all costs!
Hey Melonie,
Thank you so much for commenting! Several commenters have made me rethink the connection between a child’s trust in their parents and the possible damage done by Santa. I don’t think it is an invalid line of reasoning…we should seek to show our kids that we are always a trustworthy source for truth. I think the reason this didn’t particularly play into my decision making process is because I grew up believing in Santa and when I discovered the truth it did not affect my trust in my parents or my belief in Jesus. Now, I realize that every child is different and agree with you that for others, like your mom, there might be a huge affect. I simply didn’t experience that, and so I think that is the reason it just wasn’t a major factor in my decision making. In this blog, I wanted to highlight something for parents that perhaps they had not thought about before as a potential reason to not “do” Santa, namely, time.
Thanks again for commenting. I think you bring out several great things for people to think on!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
What do you do when you encounter other parents who “do” Santa and your child tells them he’s not real, or Santa is just another Mickey Mouse. How do you respond to other parents who might be upset over being “exposed”? I’m a school teacher and I encounter this problem every year. Your advice would be appreciated.
Hey Sarah,
I’m going to copy/paste an answer that I gave previously to this question…I hope it helps…
Fortunately this is not too big of a risk for us as our kids are homeschooled. Still, they have very active social lives at church, playgroups, co-op, etc. We have only experienced this happening once so far and it was last year. Charis, my daughter, told one of her friends that Santa was not real. Her friend didn’t believe her, so I guess no “harm” was done. We simply reinforced with her what we had told her before, namely, that many parents play the “Santa game” with their children and they want to keep it a secret. We tell them that we have just chosen not to play the “Santa game” because different people celebrate Christmas differently. So, we tell them, lets do the other parents a favor and not spoil their game.
Now as a school teacher, your situation is a little more complex. Perhaps you could take the child aside and explain to them that it is not polite to spoil the Santa game that other parents are playing with their kids. Perhaps that would work. I’m not sure if this is the best answer to your question, but it is how we have approached this situation so far. Thanks for asking and I hope this is somewhat helpful!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
In reply to Sarah’s post – I too am a teacher (1st grade). It is difficult at Christmas time because you want to respect the beliefs of others. I try to stay away from the traditional “Santa” stories. In public schools, we can’t teach Christ. However, one year I had a student who came to me and said, “It’s not about Santa, it’s all about Jesus.” Wow! That was powerful to me. My reply was, You’re absolutely right!” So, praises to those parents who continue to teach God and His holiness!
Dude. This is exactly what my husband and I have been discussing. You hit every one of our thoughts right on. Thank you for this, and for handling the comments with such beautiful intention, information, and grace.
P.s. We live about 200 feet away from your church, so don’t be surprised if we stop by to give you a big high-five over this.
Hey Lindsey,
Thanks so much for commenting with such encouraging words! If you do stop by Shades Valley, please introduce yourself as I’d love to meet you and your husband. You are welcome anytime. Thanks again for commenting!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
Thanks for your encouragement, pastor.
Over the past couple of years, as my kids have reached what might be called “the questioning age”, I’ve realized how important investing in promoting their love of Jesus is EVERY DAY as a father (Ps 78:2-7). And to me, that means MODELING it through a life and household devoted to the praise, pondering and prayer of His Word (Jn 8:31-32, 14:15, 15:7-8, 17:17) If I am at least attentive to the Spirit’s leading in that (and I don’t get it right nearly as often as I’d like to), then issues like this seem to take care of themselves.
The wronger I am, the righter I get.
Our family also does not DO santa. Our 1st main reason was the fact that we did not want our kids questioning whether Jesus and GOD were real if we told them santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy etc were real. Our 2nd reason was we were foster parents from the time our little ones were small. Our oldest was only 2yr and our youngest we became foster parents while pregnant with her. So the 1st Christmas it would have been even a question, was when our oldest was 2 1/2 and we had 2 foster kids who were 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 and then our 4 month old. The 3 1/2 foster daughter told us that santa had never come to her before so what is going on. Our reponse to her and all children in our home since then was, Santa was pretend in the person you see, but big people(adults) like to make little people happy(kids) and they will buy stuff for you. This worked very well since foster kids will always get presents from people who ‘adopt” them for the holidays but never know the people who give them presents. We talked about how the “santas” in their lives wanted to make them happy and sometimes they can give more and other times they can give less. This worked well so the foster child did not feel bad that in past had not gotten anything and if in future as they go “home” that if parents cant afford as much if anything they understand it has nothing to do with them or their behavior. I actually had the 3 1/2 yr old ask me then was I bad in the past?
Jonathan, I appreciate your willingness to look at the holiday with an open mind. A few years ago, my wife and I began to ask questions about what we were doing and why we were doing it.
We applied this inquiry to virtually every area of our lives and the answers were shocking. Sadly, most of our daily living and practices were based on traditions with which we had no clue as to why we were doing them. Certainly, much of this was handed down by our parents, much dictated by our culture, and even still, some by the church.
As we live in a country and time steeped in tradition, one must ask himself/herself if they are living the way God has intended. Certainly, God is passionate about the Truth (and the truth). And because of that, I think we need to be passionate about it as well.
To that end, I think it is our duty to make sure we (and our children) are aware of the origins of things, what God has to say about traditions, and how he WANTS to be worshiped.
I’m looking forward to reading your blog next week. Cheers for seeking His will for you and your family!
I don’t buy the TIME argument. It’s true, we only have a finite amount of time on this earth to pursue Christ, but EVERY moment is in competition with EVERY other moment. Do you go to the movies? That’s 2 hours away from Christ (usually). Do you let your kids watch secular TV? That’s time away from Christ. My simple point: I don’t care if anyone “does” santa or not, but it’s not merely santa that competes with Christ. And, to just eliminate him is no great victory.
Hey Jeremy,
Thanks for commenting. I agree with you that every moment is in competition with all other moments. Yet, I wouldn’t divide things into strict “secular” and “spiritual” categories. Even through “secular” things I am always trying to point my children to Jesus. I want to maximize the time I have with them…all the time. That doesn’t mean we are doing Bible study 24/7, but it does mean that I am trying to help them see the world through the lens of Jesus.
I don’t think you disagree with my “time” argument…it sounds like you just want to expand it…and with that I totally agree. I think we have to examine how we use all of our time. However, the point of this blog was not to address the use of our time in general, but specifically the way my family has chosen to use our time during Advent. There are special seasons, celebrations, and days of focus where we set aside time to focus on something specifically and intensely. For instance, everyday I am trying to better my marriage with my wife, but we do set aside specific time to go away together and really try to invest in one another. We also have special days of celebration within our marriage…like our anniversary. For me, this is how I think about Advent and Christmas. Yes, I want to be helping my children use every moment to see the glory of Jesus more and more, but Advent is a special season in which my children’s senses are heightened and they are paying special attention to what is going on within our home due to the festive atmosphere that surrounds them. Thus, I want to take special care to use this time in a special way. I want to help them focus on the greatness of Jesus’ first Advent via the incarnation…and help them see that as a demonstration of God’s faithfulness which serves as an anchor for our hope in Christ’s second Advent. This is a special season with that focus. This is why I have chosen to use that time, not for Santa, but for these reasons.
I agree that eliminating Santa is no great victory…and I hope it did not sound as if I was bragging like eliminating Santa makes me “spiritually superior” when compared with people who do Santa. I don’t think that at all and it was not my intent to communicate that. I know many families who continue to use Santa as a key component of their Christmas celebration and I would still count them as spiritual role models for me. All I wanted to communicate within this blog is why my family has chosen not to include Santa…for we get asked all the time. I think there are other families who get asked as well, and I hoped that they might resonate with some of my thoughts. I also know there are many young families and singles wrestling over what they will do with their children during this season…and I wanted to provide some more thoughts for them to think on. I was not trying to claim a great victory, but more a simple, small change that I think has really affected our family greatly and the way we come together around Jesus during this season.
I hope this helps clarify my thoughts. Again, thank you for commenting and I hope you have a very blessed and merry Christmas!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
How much Christ-focused time do you imagine is being robbed each day by a family who “does” Santa?
We “do” Santa, and I can tell you it amounts to mere moments, seconds a day (and not even every day during the season). The reason I still don’t buy the time argument is I just don’t see an amount of time stolen from Christ that would impact anything in anyway. I would wager that time spent making coffee or watching football or texting or surfing the web or [insert your favorite time waster here] ALL rob Christ of MORE time, and this is why I simply still do not buy the time argument. It just seems untrue based solely on amount of time spent away from telling your kids about Christ, or it at least it would be for me.
Hey Jeremy,
I’m thankful that this doesn’t seem to be an issue for your family. As I said in question #3 in the blog…I don’t think my path is for everyone. We simply found Santa to be a large distraction in both time and the message communicated through the tradition. My own parents (who did Santa with me) would agree and say they wish they could’ve done it differently. Please here me…I am not saying that your family is wrong. I’m thankful you all are able to do Santa and have a Christ centered Christmas as you say. I simply wanted to share the path my family has taken as I hoped that it would be potentially helpful/encouraging for other families out there. I’m thankful that time is not an issue in your house during Christmas. Blessings on your family and have a very merry Christmas!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
Just an added note to all of these great responses, both for and against. As a child, we did presents on Christmas Eve and Christmas was a celebration of Christ’s birth; church, family dinners. When I had my first child and he was 3, I filled his stocking and the next morning he said, “Mommy, Santa has the same wrapping paper as you do!.” From then on, we did do stockings, but they were filled by the whole family(4 children) with one thing special for each other for Christmas morning. We still did presents on Christmas eve.
It is refreshing to see another person that does what we do and has a lot of the same answers. Our family was ridiculed by our own church family for doing such and were told we took the fun out of Christmas. Quit the contrary! I challenged them to come to our home on Christmas morning and see the anticipation as we read the Christmas Story and then each child opened their gifts knowing full well who provided daddy the job to purchase the gifts. They were never discouraged from sitting on santa’s lap for pics because as we told them he was a just as Mickey Mouse or the other characters – like you said. I Thank you for putting this out there and it is my prayer that it will make others think how important it is to instill into our children the true meaning of Christmas and not waste another minute to continually share Jesus.
I think this is wonderful! I have 2 teen children my husband and i have raised only the last 5 years of them being a true Christian. Leaving us only 1 year to celebrate Christmas the right way. We now foster children and we have 2 we have adopted from babies and we also celebrate Christmas in this manner. my adopted children are so much more humble And their lives more focused on Jesus Christ, as my other children (12 & 14yrs old) don’t concept why they can’t have 20 , gifts under the tree rather than only a gift for their mind, body and soul. The sooner people start focusing Christmas on Jesus and the story of his birth and his purpose on this earth the better the next generation on this earth will find salvation through Jesus, we are never promised tomorrow and fellow Christians we need to let our lights shine bright and help as many people invite Jesus in their hearts and get saved and be more like Christ. Live your life accordingly so lost people around you can see what the Lord has done for you and the change in your heart to be more like him, lets not be hypocrites, for he would rather us be hot out cold than Luke warm
I have five kids, ages 8,7,5,4,& 2. We have always “done” Santa. We also focus on the True meaning of Christmas
But I really like your way of doing this! What’s your advice on how to start this way, having older kids who believe Santa is real? Do we just tell them and deal with the disappointment this year?
Hey Melissa,
Your question is a very difficult one. Here is an answer I shared with a previous commenter who was asking the same thing: I’m not sure what the best way for a family to transition away from Santa would be as I have never done that myself. I think instead of total break, I would probably just try to begin reshaping those traditions to be focused more on Christ. Then, once my children were old enough we would probably transition completely.
This is what I imagine I would do if I were in your situation. I hope that is somewhat helpful. Thanks for taking the time to comment and have a merry Christmas!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
While I appreciate and agree with your post, allow me to add a child’s perspective on this. My parents always taught me that Christ was the true reason for Christmas (some years we didn’t even have a tree) and that Santa was make-believe. The problem that I was a child who saw in very black and white terms. I couldn’t understand how some parents would let or push their children into believing in Santa when he wasn’t real. I ended up hurting several other children’s feelings because of this. I wasn’t mature enough to let them alone….I felt I had to point out that Santa wasn’t real. So when you’re telling your children the truth, maybe you should add a little about how to approach children who do believe it? That would have been helpful to me.
Thanks!
Hey Cae,
Several people have asked about this in the comments and here has been my explanation for what we currently do: Fortunately this is not too big of a risk for us as our kids are homeschooled. Still, they have very active social lives at church, playgroups, co-op, etc. We have only experienced this happening once so far and it was last year. Charis, my daughter, told one of her friends that Santa was not real. Her friend didn’t believe her, so I guess no “harm” was done. We simply reinforced with her what we had told her before, namely, that many parents play the “Santa game” with their children and they want to keep it a secret. We tell them that we have just chosen not to play the “Santa game” because different people celebrate Christmas differently. So, we tell them, lets do the other parents a favor and not spoil their game.
I’m not sure if this is the best answer to your question, but it is how we have approached this situation so far. Thanks for commenting and I hope this is somewhat helpful!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan
My family has never “done” Santa. As a matter of fact, one time when I was about two or three, my aunt pointed to an inflatable Santa and asked, “Who do you think this is, Sarah?” I promptly answered, “Moses!” I will never forget the look on her face! No, we weren’t uncultured, I just thought the guy with the long white beard was Moses. haha!
First of all, I love this article. My family and husband’s family have attacked me for our decision to have a Santa less Christmas. My question is how many presents total for each child. I read 3+ stocking presents. Is that correct! Love this idea as well!
Hey Michelle,
Thanks for taking the time to comment. We do limit our gift giving to three presents per child plus small stocking gifts. We have even talked about limiting it to two as our family grows (we currently have three kiddos). There are multiple reasons for this limitation. First, this limitation is just the number of presents we buy as parents…our kids do receive gifts from other family members. Because of this, we began limiting our gift giving because it just felt overwhelming when we didn’t. Second, we are trying to help stem the tide of the materialistic influence of the surrounding culture. Thus, we try to give a reasonable number of gifts and then explain to our children that limiting our gift giving frees up some of our resources to be used for other purposes. We take some of those saved resources and try to involve our kids in what we do with those. This year, we participated in “The Angel Tree.” Third, it help our kids not to covet every new toy in sight. They think hard about two or three things they would really like and request those. We also provide them with a small allowance so they can purchase small gifts for others and participate in the giving side of Christmas. We originally took the number three from the number of gifts brought by the Magi. If you scroll through the comments, there are a few others that have shared the way they do gift giving. Many of them have pretty cool ideas.
Thanks again for commenting. Hope this was somewhat helpful!
Grace be with you,
Jonathan