debate | The Joy of Glory

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August 28, 2013

Letter #16: Losing…Even When You Win

Dear Jonathan,

I’m not sure you understood my last letter, so I’m going to try this again. It seems like a big issue…I know it was for me. I know you were sad about recently losing a debate with one of your friends, but honestly…SO WHAT! You don’t have to win every debate for Jesus, especially in seminary! As a matter of fact, from my experience, I would tell you that when it comes to debating/arguing in seminary…

You lose…even when you win!

What I mean is this…Seminary is spring-loaded for pride (which we’ve talked about before). The gaining of so much knowledge in such a short period of time can easily produce a haughty spirit. There is, after all, knowledge that puffs up.

When you turn your “extra-curricular” time into theological boxing matches, this only produces opportunities for you to flex your newly formed hermeneutical muscles with the hope of knocking out your opponent. Too many KOs and you will begin to think yourself stronger than you truly are…

I call this “Seminary steroids”…and just like in pro-ball…they should be illegal.

You are injecting an unwarranted/false sense of superiority into your mind and heart. This will only be damaging to you, but also to your interlocutors. I’m not telling you to avoid theological discussion…not at all! I’m only saying, do not make winning such discussions your goal.

What then is the point you may ask? Simple…the goal is not winning, but understanding. The goal is not to prove your point, but to explain it. You should walk away from the discussion having a better grasp on your friend’s position and vice versa.

Such talks can actually lead to greater mutual respect and a deeper understanding of multiple theological opinions. This also promotes humility, for to understand another’s position, you must humbly open yourself to actually hearing it.

Jonathan, trying to win every argument in seminary will not lead you toward lasting friendships or a fuller understanding of the church to which you are trying to minister…because in seminarian debates…

You lose…even when you win.

Grace and Peace,

*To know/understand the premise behind these letters please click here.

August 20, 2013

Letter #15: Don’t Debate…Dialogue

Dear Jonathan,

I understand your frustrations with Bradley. From the way you described the conversation I believe I would have been frustrated too. Sometimes there is a point that just seems so obvious to you and you want for others to see it as well, but they seem blind or close-minded.

For what it’s worth…I agree with what you were saying. However, I do think you are missing the central issue of your conversation, namely, that it wasn’t a conversation. We both know that you were in debate mode, trying to prove your point and win the argument…you were not listening at all to what Bradley had to say.

Now, debate is not always a bad thing, but I wasted so much of my time in seminary arguing with others in such a way that only led to frustration and griping…not to fruitful growth. Jonathan, I would encourage you…

Don’t debate…dialogue.

You are surrounded by so many people who think differently than you…take advantage of that! When talking through issues such as baptism, the Lord’s supper, ecclesiology, justification, homosexuality, creation care…or even the “big” one…Calvinism and Arminianism, honestly listen to people with the intention of learning from them!

I’m not telling you to change or let go of your convictions, but to change your conversational restrictions. Be open to discussing things. This will stretch you and bring true growth.

I was so blessed, in the latter portion of my seminary career, to deepen my convictions while also widening my appreciation for people who don’t share them. I wish that had been my approach to conversations from the beginning.

When you enter into dialogue, state your thoughts clearly and concisely…then listen, take in what is being said, and don’t formulate your rebuttal while they’re talking. Wait until they finish, process what they said, and then respond in love. In this way, you not only set the tone for the conversation, but will actually get to a deeper place as your inviting disposition will likely lead the other person to open up and say things they might have otherwise held back.

Extend grace to your interlocutors and you might be surprised what gracious things the Lord will teach you through them. These are just some of the great gifts you receive when you…

Don’t debate…dialogue.

Grace and Peace,

*To know/understand the premise behind these letters please click here.

The Joy of Glory

Tag: debate